rejections and longings

It is magical but for all that exasperating. Romantic relationships between a woman and a man happen – whether intended or not – and are a pretty particular kind of human relationships. Especially when they end, complexity is hard to avoid. Starting off, it is living a fairytale for both parties. Kisses and hugs are exchanged, mutual love and care evolves. Even the mere anticipation of seeing the special someone is able to evoke a beaming face. There is no one as important, as life-fulfilling as the partner.

Eventually, the relationship reaches its peak. For the lucky ones it ends in a happy-ever-after. But for most of us, this means that someone is damned to get hurt some day. Love begins to get one-sided. The relationship ends… At least officially, whereas the abandoned person still holds onto hope that someday, sometime her/his ex-partner will remember why he/she fell in love in the first place. This hope is the worst feeling, the most frustrating pain that an emotion can cause a human body, mind and soul. The experienced rejection induces a longing for the loved one. The hope and the longing combined create a feeling that whatever is experienced, anything happening in the abandoned one’s life is incomplete, not as joyful as it would be, if it was shared with the special someone. Why can’t we just live through the rejection and move on? Why is it that we cannot accept that love dies? Why do we so persistently wish to get together with someone that once decided to desert us? Leaving us broken-hearted and in despair of what we could have done that caused this decision?

Does the longing mean that it is in fact worth hoping? Is it some kind of sign of the universe that this someone is the “right one” for us? Or is it just us spending our precious time waiting in vain for our dream to come true?

-your tiny woman in a giant world

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